Finally adjusted... for now.

So I started a new job 2 weeks ago, working on a football program (the world game type, not aussie type) and I hated it to begin with. Long hours, uneventful watching of footage and logging the "interesting stuff". I will admit I am not a fan of football (soccer) and got dragged to many many games through my life, cause of my brothers and parents love of soccer. So the irony was that I sat (at weird hours cause of edit suites being in use in the day... 2pm-11pm) watching soocer games and guys talking about soccer, when I was the one who hated it. Everyone see this irony yet..

Though now I am starting out on shoots as of Monday and even the footage viewing isnt so bad, something is wrong here!

In other news, nothing much is happening. I keep procrastinating on whether I should write more, since it really is something I want to work on, since it is my best method of communicating by far. I read a few blogs and am challenged to do the same on a more consistent basis yet forget about it within a day or so, so the consistency thing really goes out the window. And for being witty and enthralling everyday, doubt that would happen!

My birthday was almost a month ago now, my party, a great success. Most of the coolest people in my life were there, and we had a dance and a chat. Short and sweet and no throwing up involved, well not from me, and the others did, from alcohol, no other reason... And some top photos. I felt like a facebook slut, I am one yes, yet I felt like more of one, if it is possible. Though there were not enough gay cliche ones, singlets.. sweat.. happy gay faces... nipples.. buff bods. It lacked all the above, though maybe some sweat..

25 next year, bigger and better, or shall I shrug it off? Age is a weird thing, some people fear it, some people pretend not to.. and some people embrace it, until they get to their late 20's and start to fear it, and the others who feared it pretend not to. Me.... I just want to take each year for what it is, and my greatest fear is just letting the years go by and not do anything with it. Not really about the year to come, because that is always the exciting thing. Ok fuck, this is sounding really christian sounding, or a local government council rep visiting the school speech. Miss Congeniality is on, and its on the projector so cant really not notice it, I shall attend to it, even though it IS Sandra Bullock and the steak she is eating no doubtedly is tasteless...

Full stop.

Another year older and a new start

So I turned 24 2 days ago. And I had such an awesome birthday. Heather and Chem, two of my best mates hung out at Cronulla with me and then we did some art works down on the beach. Made out of paper we created the landscape around us. Was so relaxing and chilled.
Then a great dinner with my entire family except my mother of course. Was just so full of happiness and I am so coming to a point where I am so much more content with the present. I am happy.

I got a new job, 3 month contract that starts on the 19th of May. Assistant on a new football superstar show. Irony is that I am not a massive fan of Football (the round ball version). Ah well it is great pay and good experience. And they will love me ;)

Like I said in my last post, chaos and uncertainty creates so much adventure and there is always hope around the corner. Lets keep it up.

Sick and Unemployed

It is amazing how quickly things change. No matter what happens in my life, I still am a little surprised. I guess that is a good thing, since then life isnt so dull, nor too exciting.

So I got laid off from the job of production coordinating the new show. They couldn't afford to keep me on while they wait for the go ahead. I completely understand yet, it sucks for obvious financial reasons as well as morale in general.

That word morale.. .it is drilled in my head to make me think of Year 12 Modern History, and the morale of the troops in WW1 and back at home in Australia, the general public's morale. Geesh, good times..

I also am a tad sick, spending my days in bed under my duvet, watching useless DVDs. I think you end up watching the junk that you should never watch, when you are sick, but hey the external is reflecting the internal, sickness.

To sum it up, things are pretty rough right now. I am confused in general, where I want to head, who I want to share life with, who I want to be, and to be honest with myself at all times, and with others.

A lot of my past continues to bubble to the surface and it causes me a lot of distress. Family, Sexuality and Religion. The three walls that surround me so often, make me feel uneasy and there is no pillow to rest my head. I want to tackle this, so I can find peace, and work towards the passions inside, that die to come out.

I was walking past a car park on the way home from work one day, and saw this scene of computers all piled up. I took a photo because it intrigued me. The chaos and mess, that once held so much information and order. Now all ready to be thrown out. I loved the analogy, yet I guess I will admit it reminded me of how I felt. That sounds depressing, but in some way, the image fascinated me, so it cant be all negative.

Easter come and gone

So Easter... came early this year, so its buggered off the other side already. I only got one bunny this year off Lou... plus some home made ones from Neal.





Canberra was good by the way, the memorial was so worth the entire trip.





So where am I.... another slow week at work, just Denis and I. I man the house... No, not like that crap Jonathan Taylor Thomas movie... what the hell happened to that guy by the way.... google.... Ok so it seems he is alive... yet will always be just known as the voice of Simba and the middle child in Home Improvement.

So I am in a bit of a muddled headspace at the moment. I dont think I really have dealt with some past stuff. So am going to challenge myself to tackle it now. I shall try write out some of it as I progress. Yes, I even am going to talk to someone "professional"

I got a wedding tomorrow. It is the wedding of Lauren, one of my first childhood friends. It is going to be so bizarre, for so many reasons. She was like a little sister to me growing up, and yet now she is growned up and stuff. As well as the main reason of... like most of my old friends, we have grown apart ever since I came out. Three years on and its just as awkward now. So I will be watching from the outside tomorrow, in. Why do I go you ask? Cause, I always imagined the day I would go to Lauren and Jenna's weddings (Jenna is her sister) and I could stand there proud. So much has changed, yet, not my care for those two.





And close the hallmark card.





Here is Jonathon Taylor Thomas. Why? I dont know. He never was that good looking. Though its cheap and no shirt.

Another Friday, another Weekend

Slow Friday afternoon at work. And yes I am on here.

Off to Canberra, the Nation's capital tonight. Havent been there in 4 years... not since a cousins wedding. Why is it that random destinations are only ever travelled to unless it is "a cousins/friends wedding" or something of the like.

This time it is to see fireworks, cause Neal... likes fireworks, so hey, I will trudge along. Ok not trudge but happily come along too.

I hear Robyn is playing at the V festival soon, and I would maybe even sacrifice the 130 dollars to go PLUS battle the crowds that I dislike, to see her. Should I... we shall see.

Production on "the phone" has been halted for now. Wont start till late June/July it seems. Which does suck, payrise wont happen until then, therefore I cannot move out or get a car!! All this and my Dad might be moving back in soon with my stepmum, not good news.

I could make this blog topical, like, what shall we wear this winter or... is Darwin REALLY that hot? Speaking of that, Neal might be posted to Darwin soon. I got the choice then to move up there with him or stay put. Another decision to be made. I might add photos up of Canberra next week.

Lloyd. And here is a random photo of Lucas Neil, Aussie soccer player. Neal is a fan, I do like the body.

When you say you will do something.. and dont

Well yeah, I never ended up blogging my trip overseas. Though it would have been full of, we did this, we did that, this was funny, oh and he was totally weird.

Is that my excuse? Ha dunno.

Well it is now March, and back on track for another year. I ended up having 5 months off in total. Unplanned of course, but yeah its what happened. And cant really recall exactly what I ended up doing...

Now I am back working at my old job, and in a month or so, working as production coordinator for a new Foxtel series. A move up in the world, and a payrise.

Though, I am a wanderer. In 18 months I plan to move to another country and see how it goes there. I work to live, not live to work.

Mardi Gras came and went. Was such a good night, plenty of gay ness for everyone. The after party was MUCH better than last year, I actually enjoyed it. Apart from the pissing down rain and me not wearing not much during that time. Oh and the toilets. Do I need to explain..

Lets say, this year could be a year worth living.

2002 and 2007... 5 years since school

Well I know it might sound lame, but it felt like yesterday since I finished school. It has now been 5 years.

To prove this... recently me and 3 old friends got our photo taken again, standing in the same position amongst ourselves. A lot has happened in those 5 years, and we arent that close anymore, well Heather and I are, but the other two have gone different ways compared to us. Or is that Heather and I went different ways to the usual... probably that.


Ok the first photo.....
Heather, Luke, Rachel and I, November 2002. Year 12 Formal

And second photo...

Heather, Luke, Rachel and I, at Rachel's wedding, 20th October 2007. We really haven't changed that much...

Raining... and a date.

Ok so it is raining once again today. It is meant to be almost summer and we are having 16 degree days and pouring rain. I am rather off in London! Hey funny that, I am there in 2 weeks!

Neal took me on a date last night. I like the concept of a couple going on dates still. It was such a great night, sitting and just talking for ages. And a good bottle of red wine. I swear I am still such a light weight. Good thing Neal drove!

We talked about so many things, one of the topics being how we differ in different ways. I can be such a flirt and its been programmed into me for so long, to be able to flirt with whoever I want. But now I am in a relationship, it is a new thing for me to stick with one person. That might sound odd, don't get me wrong, I Love Neal. Love being with him and its such an adventure for me and couldn't ask for a better guy. I just mean, it is taking me a while to get used to it. I am actually really liking it. Someone finally managed to tie me down.

And now we are going in for the big test... a 6 week overseas holiday together. I am sure there will be hard parts but I am looking forward to the challenge. Am I naive? Hm.. bring it on.