Still

A wise man told me recently that the loop I feel I am in... Can be a good thing. A time in your life where you can watch and learn.

And it is true, I am finding I can focus on watching and observing people, experiences and simply sitting still.

I bought a world map, and stuck it to my wall above my half built IKEA table. It is half built as only half the table was for sale. The other half wasn't. I am waiting for it to be, and so in the mean time I have a table with no top. Some may think this is dumb but I think it is edgy. Without the edges. The map was sitting happily until I was in my room and heard it lightly fall off. I didnt think much of it til I remembered that right below it were three candles. I jumped out of bed and raced into the living room. My ears are special and thank goodness they are. Elephant like, just not in size but the amount of noise that would be picked up by that spacial area of an elephant ear. Raced in and yep, my map was on fire. Blowing and blowing and it was out. Close call, as the table with no table top would have caught fire, stainless steel is dangerous. I placed it back on the wall, my map just became more artistic, now with all of Brazil burnt out, that's fine though, I just won't invite any brazilians over.
I do wonder though if the flame only burning Brazil means that Brazil is hot? Scorching even.

Waiting for a tram currently. Though the others who were waiting for it all walked off, damnit I wanna know what they know.




We had an event at the museum the other night. So bloody fun... My friend Marissa livened up everyone and even a random man jumped in a photo I took. Thanks random man.

I called mum earlier. She was distracted and giving directions to Glenda. Though told me off the cuff my Pop is in hospital and had a turn for the worse. Then she hung up.. Thanks Mum!

Tram arrived. Those losers missed the tram.

Loop

So I am sure you all find, that the loop occurs in your life. Sometimes it is often, sometimes it doesnt pop up as much. For some, it never happens but they are lying to themselves. The loop, when you find yourself doing the same thing over and over. Whether it is laziness, staleness or just nothing you can actually change to stop it. For me right now, it is laziness.

Even now, while I write this, my mouse pointer hovers over a tab to read another webpage, anything but face my own structure of thinking, to actually push my cogs in my head to come up with constructive sentences. But then, it isnt that dramatic. I am not struggling in some depressive state, I am having a lot of fun. But I am hard on myself, especially when I move cities and I expect a certain something, and I fall into the lazy routine. When is my photography course? Oh I cant afford it. Really? Yes. Nah I think I can, I just have had the same fear as a kid, where I would be going into a room with strangers and not having any safety net. Noone I knew to talk to but just feel the initial uncomfortable feeling of being alone there. When really, they would all be on the same page, keen to learn like I am. Get some balls Lloyd. No, not that kind. Hey at least I have seen every episode of Dr Who from the new season. That will challenge my life...

I was walking through my exhibition the other day, and I saw a little girl, about three years old. She was kneeling down looking at the golden coffin of Tut's Great Grandmother and had her mother standing next to her(I am assuming, she could have been her cousin, surrogate mother or preschool teacher). I overheard her say with a deadpan face, "If my Daddy was in there, he would be dead and I would never see him again." I kept walking but that sentence stuck with me, whether she is just grasping the concept of death, or she really dislikes her Dad today.

What has happened since my birthday? I have attempted running a few times again, went to the grocery shop four times, paid for a tram trip 5 times, learnt to cook Chinese food, saw 'Love Never Dies' (the kid in that really needs to go back to school), read a few chapters of London: The Novel, planned a trip to Sydney, check my letterbox twice a day for my birthday present from my family, feed poison to the snails in the letterbox, bought a bar table and danced to Beirut 4.5 times. In my bedroom and slightly in my kitchen. Here is one of their tracks 'Scenic World', I will let you watch it twice:




I walked up the Shrine of Rememberence the other day when a mate of mine Dave came to visit from Sydney. Loved the view. I hated the blood my shin produced walking up there.

Mothers

Mother's day and I am on the fence if I think it is a crap commercial venture or actually a day set aside to really appreciate mothers. Like we have Remembrance day for those who have sacrificed their lives and died fighting for freedom, so why not have one to remember mothers who have sacrificed nothing and lived their lives happily looking after us? My mum is somewhere in Australia in a caravan with her partner, and she called me for my birthday yesterday, so we have chatted I reckon. Though I do miss making crap mother's day cards... Cause they were works of art and placed on the fridge or the "good" cabinet in the living room amongst the Chilean pottery houses.

6 years today, since my Dad found out that my Mum was having an affair with another woman. It was on Mother's day, the morning after my 21st. I now say that with no way near as much hurt inside. Everyone is on such a happier page and grown for the better. Living lives that reflect what they need.

OK I feel cheesy when I go too deep on here.

My birthday was great. Nice and simple with some friends for dinner and drinks. I find the older you get, the less expectation you have.

The following day I went for lunch with a friend, but a few hours beforehand I realised the only jeans that were NOT wet in the washing machine were the ones I wore for my birthday. Though these stank of cigarettes cause of the club I was in and I had to hang outside with my smoker mates. Anyways I decided I would try that trick of placing my jeans in the freezer, as this is mean to remove the smell from them. You may not have heard of this but people in jeans shops have told me numerous times that its better to place them in freezer and NOT wash them. I placed them in the freezer for two hours, just a note though, dont put them straight on after the freezer. Tad cold. They still stank of smoke and now slightly of frozen food goods. I began strolling down the street, slightly uncomfortable as the backs of my jeans kept touching my leg, and the cool jeans just did not suit Melbourne Autumn. As I got closer to the lunch venue, I placed my hand inside my pocket, there were about 10 frozen peas in my pocket, half defrosted and stuck to my reading glasses.. Yeah, damn Jeans people I am never listening to you again.

I want to place a picture up. It is one given to me by a friend, it really made me laugh and was given to me for my birthday. Presenting... the people he believes he was inviting to my birthday. Including him of course!

Festival

It is about 4 days til my birthday and you know, why not make it festival. Do everything I usually do but just know it is my birthday. Festivalised.

So to quickly catchup, had my sister and bro in law come down, was really enjoyable having them come and stay and show them a bit of Melbourne. Lou didnt like the random sculpture in the alleyway of the man who had hung himself. Come on Lou, it is art.





















We had some nice strolls and visited my Uncle Phil down south in Elwood, and had a good old family day or two. I attempted to use my camera more, to express the moment but it failed... mainly cause Lou and Dean refused to have an autumn leaf fight for me. Come on, leaves down your back, they feel good after a while. Bonus if you get some flecks of dirt too, the cold and wet kind that sticks to leaves that have been laying there a while.

Dean, Me and Lou.












Easter came and went. As did ANZAC day, as did Kate and Williams wedding.

Went to a nature park with Nick, Matt and Kait. We did silly poses, cause we were the cool kids who had seen all these animals a hundred times. So we can even impersonate them. Talk to them and see how they are doing in 21st Century Australia.














































I really just want to take a break, but how can you when you already are. I work three days a week and have four days off to myself. Gym is not happening, why? Cause.. there is some sort of reason. I am craving structure, like a bottle craves the sea. Bobbing up and down, sending a message to some lady.

I turn 27 and I have done the whole facebook invite out to a few friends and NO idea where to go for drinks or dinner. Melbourne has so many options there is the pressure to choose something good. Or should I just choose something fun and cheesy. No, Karaoke can be banned. Along with cook your own steak nights. Cause that is always a failure. Well I am sure I will find something and the night will come and go.

A kid walking through the exhibition said to his friend yesterday, "This King Tut guy is richer than I am, I dont like him now."

I find cheap cornflakes taste just as good as the Kellogs ones. Even if it isnt real corn, but ground up bits of corn husk. Corn Husk is great for the finger nails I hear.

I didnt have any wine in my house, now I have three bottles. But when you live alone, you cant open a bottle unless committing to the whole thing. Oh wait, what am I doing even considering drinking a bottle to myself alone. Back peddle on that one.

So here is to another year. Live life like a movie.