Friday, January 4, 2013

I have moved...

Hi All!

Just wanted to notify everyone that I have moved sites, so if anyone has been wondering, you can now find me at www.edwinjones.co 

Happy New Year All!

Lloyd

Monday, March 19, 2012

Change is almost here

Yes I have been silent lately, and the cliche "busy busy busy" seems to not cut it.

I am in middle of redesigning my blog and also possibly even changing the name. Southern Bloke seems a bit too young for me now, something I thought up when I was 20, and now I am turning 28, it is like I am logging into my teenage profile. Not that dramatic but just time for a change.

So stay tuned, more fun and laughter (and even an ant story) very soon!

Friday, February 24, 2012

What noise do pirates make?

I was in bed last night looking at my calendar after being out all day. My plans for the following day would involve cleaning my apartment as I had an open inspection in the afternoon. I reviewed the time, though there was nothing entered into Friday. I looked to Thursday and that was where I had entered it. I confirmed the date and time online on one of the real estate websites and yes, the open inspection occurred already. I had had a bunch of random people walking through my untidy apartment without me even realising, while I was off walking around the city wondering about whether Kevin Costner really would make a good bodyguard. I glanced around my apartment and there were still M&Ms on the floor (from a spillage out of my bag), underwear on the floor, and the best of all, a small note I wrote to the ants in my apartment saying, "piss off ants". I wonder if anyone applied for my apartment.



I went to Sydney last weekend for the first time since last November. As always it was great seeing my family and just chilling out. Was also warm enough to swim in the backyard pool and all four of us siblings were there and swimming. When you are an adult, the backyard pool really is not as interesting. Once you are cool, you are cool. And then you kinda just wanna get out again. Though we had my nephews and nieces in the pool too and seeing them having fun really kicks it up for you again too. I has diving sticks and so had my niece throw them into the pool while I dove down to get them. It was a precision exercise and pretty much could guarantee if my niece was some high executive of a diving company, I would be getting a bonus for my diving skills.

One morning, while I was staying at my brother's house over the weekend, I had the job of looking after my two nieces for the morning at the park. At first it was exciting as I get to have quality one on one time with them as I only see them a few times a year. Quickly though, it became evident that there would be a lot more to it. When we had arrived at the playground, the oldest niece began to complain that her Dora the Explorer doll was not talking:

"Dora isn't talking"
"Oh that is a shame, what is wrong with her?"
"She isn't talking".
"Ah well yeah, that is sad".
"Uncle Lloyd, YOU have to do Dora's voice".
"Ohhh."

I then try to channel the brief glimpses of the show I have seen. She is South American, no? So I attempt to say something Dora would say, "Yo, where in the playground do you want to go?"
My niece looks at me, unimpressed.
"No Uncle Lloyd, a GIRLS voice!"
I clear my throat and look around and channel girl's voice, "I think we should go to the swings, hola!"
I think in most other environments, people would look at me and wonder what the hell I am doing. No, not this time. I was in the company of other parents in the playground, who just smiled knowingly. One father actually gave me more context for the accent and more phrases to work on. Success.



I arrived back from Sydney feeling refreshed but also excited to get back home. Cal and I are a bit like ships in the night at the moment, he was heading for Sydney the following day so we spent time together for the day. I walked around with him while he gave a tour about the graffiti of Melbourne to Boston University students. Whoever thought my boyfriend would be so knowledgable about spray paint in Melbourne. OK I am simplifying the beauty and creativity that is graffiti, I failed the lesson. As usual I was just slightly deliberately awkward with the students. But hey if you were a young American student in Melbourne for a few days and some Aussie fella comes up and just chats with you about how good cats are and that Australian power poles really express the city's inner desire for power, you would probably not know exactly how to react. I didn't either.

Sitting at a bar, I observed Cal peeling his beer label off and a primary school myth sprung to mind. Hmm actually more high school than primary school cause you don't talk about sexual innuendo in primary do you?? So yes, high school. The myth being that if you peel a label off a bottle of soft drink, (alcohol doesn't exist when you are a teenager) you are supposedly sexually frustrated. I always assumed I was, as I love peeling off labels of bottles. And chewing styrofoam cups, around and around the edge so it becomes a cup no more. I pointed out to Cal that he must be sexually frustrated and laughed. Then I realised, oh wait.. that means.. OK that backfired.

My jobs are going swell. Letting you know.

And I just had a bunch of products arrive from Portland General Store. It took a while as the first lot became lost in the mail, when really, I think that the beagle at airport customs just nicked them. So the products are pretty damn cool. The package contained male grooming products such as shaving gel, shampoo etc, but the great thing about them is they have great earthy smells, very masculine and it came in a recycled cigar box. All organic with natural ingredients, I am sold and will be ordering more. Just need to report that nasty beagle**.

February is almost over and more change is around the corner. And malted milkshakes rock.

My nephew is obsessed with pirates currently. For a two year old, sailing the open seas and killing people and stealing their riches is a refreshing occupation. When I ask him what sound they make, he says "Ahhhrrrr" but about two octaves higher than the normal pirate, so it sounds like a lost puppy.

His idea:



Obvious reality (including watermark):



** Beagles in general are lovely animals and I am only referring to this one beagle that I assume exists and steals men's grooming products. What he does with them, who knows.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Old London Street Scenes (1903)

This is beautiful to me. To see the city of London 100 years ago, with so many similarities to now. Fascinating... and my favourite, to see one little change on its way at 3:53.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Happy One Year!

I have been in Melbourne a year from yesterday. It clicked when my friend Chem posted on FB about him being at his current workplace a year. That same day I said goodbye to him (he was my flatmate at the time in Sydney) and then packed up the rest of my stuff and then headed to the airport. So happy one year to me. Remember back a year, to when we listened to digital music, drank Milo and we were counting down to 2012?

I sat at a BBQ today and loved the atmosphere. A BBQ can create a laid back and friendly vibe, an awkward, "how is life" extended family vibe or a "how good does the possum taste" vibe. Today was a happy and excited vibe, it was the gang that will make up the crew for the Famous Spiegeltent, beginning its run from February 7th until April 22nd. Getting to know the crew and colleagues has been a big tick.
Learning so many of the people's histories and paths, some had bridges and some had roundabout routes. And some had a boat, with a small taxi between the boat and the train station which naturally occurred between the bus stop and the boat journey. Journeys hey, metaphors. I find that they make a paragraph complete, especially this one. I cannot wait to start in a few days and be a part of the magic.

I have an old clock in my apartment, it is 1970's green and it works once a day. It hung in my family kitchen when I grew up and somehow I still have it. I need to find a clock lady/man who will help me fix it, the whole adventure it could/might/will be made into a film too.

I found an ant today, and it was in my mug. I wish I could walk directly up a ceramic surface and then get to the top, not be out of breath at all and just casually walk down the other side. Just on my way to the shops or something. Maybe on the phone having a chat to Beryl. Everyone needs a friend called Beryl. I feel the ant was not to the scale of this image, and also a different insect to that specified below:




I had my first proper conversation with my nephew the other day. My sister in law turned on Skype and up he appeared, and I have not seen him for a few months and in those months, conversation has been discovered. To have him know who I was and be informed that his daddy was at work, which led into some dance moves just made me smile. I wonder what technology he will use when he is my age, maybe electronic bubbles that wrap around your head and you have a 3D image of the environment that the person you are on the phone to is at. And you then discuss the environment, weather and what you are doing that day with your hover board.

Just like this tree, but less digital new age:

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Take Anything You Want- Japanese learning english

Oh how I love this. The creepy non change in tone to their different phrases they "learn". I love Japanese culture.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Where is January?

It leaves us in a few days. January, it always feels like you come in for a party and then exit way too soon. February is a mutual friend of ours, but not as fresh and rad. But it has been a good one.

I have been pretty much staying at Caleb's house all of January, and finally now staying at my house these last few nights. It felt like I had to have a sorry ceremony with my apartment. I got the sense I had betrayed it, neglected it as such and it has just been sitting here. To be fair, my mate Aaron from the US stayed here while the Australian Open was on, but he aint me. My flat didn't say anything back when I said sorry and lit some incense, but I think it has forgiven me. Though my lease runs out soon.. I won't announce that loudly just yet.

I want to keep steering towards having plenty of printed photos around the place. Digital world has encouraged us to have everything online, but where is the fun when you cannot have these images in your physical space. Whoah, I just felt like I used too many words that a lecturer would use. The word "physical space" being a phrase I relate to a lecturer with a red jumper and a beard, clasping his hands together and looking at the wooden ceiling of the dated lecture theatre.



So I have printed a tonne of photos, see above. And cheaply too. Try Big W photos online, 35 photos for 6 bucks including delivery. Go Big Dub! That was not a paid plug, I just was impressed with the photos. And now its like I have some of my good friends and family on a wall, and it looks like a Uni student room. Just the look I was going for.

Have I ever mentioned, the colour of this green in the photo is my favourite colour? Well I am mentioning, and a high mention at that.



I begin two of my new jobs this week. Shall we guess what they are?

JOB NUMBER ONE
Clue: Involves dressing up in 1940's clothing and being inside a genuine 1920's built tent, made of fabric and mirrors. Many famous people have sung in this tent and it now tours the world, visiting Melbourne annually. I will be greeting guests and introducing them to the world that can be anything inside the tent. I simply cannot wait.
Answer: Guest Host at The Famous Spigeltent! Groovy!



JOB NUMBER TWO
Clue: This space hosted the Queen of England last year, is one of Melbourne's meeting points and holds many events and festivals throughout the year. I will be helping look after the Operations for the events and installations that occur there, right beside the Yarra River in central Melbourne.
Answer: Operations Coordinator at Federation Square. Rock on!



I finish up my job with Australian Open this week and it has been fun. Great people and great work. I will miss the crazy customers asking us to investigate players who secretly smuggle drugs onto the court that leads to an unfair advantage. Sigh.

Let us welcome February in two days. See what it brings. OK, let's!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Cheeky Monkeys

Sitting here with a David Attenborough doco on, it is about cheeky monkeys. They are cracking nuts with big stones and I am finding it hilarious when the nut bounces off the wrong way into the shrubs and the monkeys run after the nut shrieking. Dunno why but that scenario is making me chuckle. Actually I do know why. Cause it is funny. Funny that. Huh.


I have started work, helping out a company who produce the merchandise for the Australian Open for a few weeks. It is really interesting to come into an office community and observe the dynamics. The people who are there to build their career, the people who work and live for the weekend and those who have been there too long.

And for someone like me who is just there for a brief period, it is really up to me if I want to invest with people. It is great noticing the ways different people have responded to me. The really nice thing is how friendly and relaxed the atmosphere is, with everyone being so welcoming. I reckon if I just got up and danced down the walkway I would have people join me. They so better not read this otherwise there may be some pressure. You know, to dance. And to dance up to the high quality standard I am known for.


I may have gone to see the Vengaboys a few nights ago. Remember the late 1990's band that rocked the world with their Eurotrash Pop? With such intelligent lyrics like "We like to party, we like, we like to party" and "My hearts goes sha la la la la". Well I was way to curious as to them touring and also the fact the venue was a pub down the road from me. A group of us went and we had no idea what to expect.

As we stepped inside, there was a sea of 18 year olds. 18 year olds?? They were probably about 6 when they were popular. But they were there, and screaming loudly. Cal and I were not drinking either as we are so smartly doing Dry January (no alcohol for the month) so Coca Cola was our sponsor. 90's music was pumping via a DJ while everyone waited, it is what they called the support act. Pretty sure the DJ just pressed play on a CD. Or if he was technical, through an iPod.

Lights flashed on and off (the pub seemed to have an amazing lighting system, featuring an "on" and "off" switch. The red curtains open and there stood our Vengaboys. Complete with tacky outfits, they all looked a bit weathered but up for fun. They began singing (slightly lip syncing) their songs, all five of them. In between songs they spoke in their Dutch accent about how excited they were to be Down Under. Whether they were attempting to be dirty was lost in translation.

The Encore began when they walked on then off the stage and then suggested to play a White Stripes track. They then stopped and declared they never would, as they represent Sleezy, Cheesey, Trashy Euro Pop, and proceeded to sing their hits again. Hey at least they didn't pretend to be something they were not. I may have danced slightly also. So thanks Vengaboys for providing high school flash backs where I can finally feel free to sing out "Boom boom boom boom, I want you in my room.".



I have seen so many movies over the past few weeks. And there is a photo booth out the front of the cinema. It sucked Cal and I into it and we totally reenacted Amelie.



I really respect Sia. She is an Aussie music artist who has done so many organic and yet strategic moves, where she balances Pop and reality. She has worked with some of the biggest artists and still reflects how original she is. From the classic "Breathe Me" that was featured as the final song on the final season of the best show on TV "Six Feet Under" to writing a song and singing it for a David Guetta track (even though I cringe at him). This track below just grooves with me. Even if it is Flo Rider.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Spoons

I had icecream the other day. And the type that you buy from a shop over a counter and you um and ah... and then chose the flavour etc. And then these days pretty much every type of these stores has things you can sprinkle in or mash in. I did not have any of these. It always reminds me of when I worked in an ice cream store. Memories, it was my first job and I wore a bright orange shirt. And most of the time jeans that had ice-cream wipes on the sides of them. Thinking about that makes me feel a little sick.

So I had icecream, as did Cal. We were quite excited about our flavours as we walked home. We also discovered we liked the other's flavour better. As I walked along I dropped my spoon, and naturally I was teased for being a bit of a goof. Cal offered me his spoon to borrow, so I took the nice offer and several seconds later, accidentally dropped his spoon too. The light teasing I was given just prior disappeared. In its place was just simple "I am pissed off you dropped my spoon also" kind of vibe. And hey fair enough, what a dickhead I was. The ice-cream just sat there in the cup as it began to melt quickly in the warm summer night, though I am way too impatient and was drinking mine from my cup. Yep, I raise my hand and say, I have no dignity. Poor Cal patiently waited until we got back to the apartment where he scooped the ice cream soup up. Spoons are useful.

Now, Murakami. I may have discovered one of my favourite writers, and yes you may say "hey doofus, you really are a tad slow, he was cool 10 years ago" but I found him in the right time and place. The best time to appreciate his writing and it can only get better.

Sometimes I wonder why my gut feels tight. Is it protecting itself?

I started a few of my jobs this week. They have been quite different and you learn new things in areas where you didn't think you needed to learn. Like, helping with an AFL promotion has led me to talk to hundreds of Australians and their passion for AFL. And also random suburb names. I got told off by one old man named Norm for not being able to spell Melbourne suburb names. "I thought all Melbourne people knew how to spell their suburbs." He was from the bush.