Newie

So am heading to Newcastle soon. Got a Lady GaGa concert. I dont really know the guy I am going with, but he doesnt have anyone to go with anymore because of unfortunate circumstances, and I am always up for random situations and experiences, so why not go on a road trip to Newcastle and see the odd people adoring Lady GaGa. My car, me, an iPod and this fella called Jeremy.

I spoke to Hadleigh on the weekend. The last thing I did in Melbourne. Asked him what on earth happened back in the day. Hadleigh was the opera singer who.. is really the only person I ever gave my whole heart to. Moved from London to Auckland to see him for the first time, and the innocent and naive love I had for him drove that move. He had such a all consuming career and that drove him. So back in the day (four years ago) the whole thing fell flat on its face, simply because there was no room for that hope. Seeing him in Melbourne, it was like seeing him four years ago, didnt realise how stupid it would feel to feel like no time had passed and how I felt would still be there. For him, he cares about me like noone else but, also for him, he doesnt feel that way about me anymore and cant explain why. I dont expect him to be able to explain but hey.

Knowing all that now, really helps. I can now move forward with the knowledge I hadnt accepted before that.. I hadnt really let anyone else in since then cause of that fear and also slight hope something would happen with him again. When Neal came along, he was slightly ripped off cause I coudnt give 100% cause of the past. I know this is quite familiar to most and can relate, but now I know and can happily continue on now. Advice: never fall for someone who is in love with music. You will always be second.

Went to a Men's Health Magazine function on Tuesday night. aussieBum sponsored the Men's Health Challenge which resulted in 6 guys competing to be the April 2010 cover man. Not much competition at all... There were plenty of women who thought they must have been part of the competition, falling over in their heels and sipping chardy way too much but hey, why not? Supposed hot men were going to be there. They all had their gf's clinging to them. And the view was amazing, sunset over the harbour. Mariana came with me and she made me drink wine, to the point we had to get a cab home, and also have a fight with complimentary hair gel we received in the gift bags. I won, Brazil lost.

Would it be best if we all had egg timers for our heart? Ohhhh deep.